Comedy Monologues

Here are some FANTASTIC COMEDY monologues for “GETTING AN AGENT” sessions…

  • Choose your monologue
  • Define your character–Make your character interesting!
  • Work the monologue 50 different ways until you make it your OWN

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    COACH JACK TURNBULL
  • PUMP IT UP AND MAKE IT FANTASTIC!
  • Don’t be BORING, and don’t be UNBELIEVABLE!
  • BE ENTERTAINING!

HERE YOU GO:

I’ve been pondering life’s mysteries, like, if you are eating tic tacs, and you only have one left, is it a TIC or a TAC? I think about it all the time, and I’m gonna figure it out. You see,  I like this (Boy/Girl) (Jenny/Richie) and I’m planning to make my move this year in school. You don’t think I’m smart enough? Well, ponder this: If you are down to your last M&M, which M is it? It’s profound.  If I solve that, (Jenny/Richie) will fall in love with me. Excellent!

 

I’ve been thinking and if I hold it in any longer I’m gonna explode.  Okay, I’ll tell you, but don’t laugh. Even if you think its funny. Or stupid. Or stupid funny. Or, or, or…Okay. I’m falling in love. I mean I think so. I’ve never actually been in love, but you know that feeling when you get an “A”? Well, this feels ten times better, so it’s gotta be love. I can’t believe this. Dru Smith asked to borrow my pencil. Get it? BORROW MY PENCIL. It MUST be love. I’m SO happy!

 

We’re not lost,  You know, “lost” is just another word for finding something you didn’t know you were looking for.  Listen, you have to relax. We’re in nature. And nature will show us the way. Why don’t you just sit tight while I ask directions from this racoon?  She’ll show me the way.  That way? Ok, Thanks! . See, that was easy, Town is this way. I am one with my inner animal. You think I’m crazy? Yes, I am a little, maybe a lot.

 

ENJOY!

COACH JACK TURNBULL